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Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Superhero camp woman

A couple years ago I went to this superhero camp: (I was never cool, y'all.) 
I was the only female specimen in the entire camp. Of course, with my species threatened I decided to mark my territory. (KIDDING. KIDDING.)
I was shunned by the entire cult of pre-teen boys who enjoy reading books about buff men in spandex.

Then he came along. He was a stalky, chubby little boy. Now, not sure he was aware of the territory he was already in, because any other less creepy pick-up line would have worked. Such as:
"Hey, you look like you peed your pants can I help you to the nearest bathroom"
"Hi. You're a woman, right?"
Or this one, this one is very original and never used before:
"Hi"

Instead this boy decided to use this:
Him: Wuts a preety gurl like you doin' all alone?
Me: I dunno.
Him: Do ya have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Him: Well, I used to have a girlfriend and well, she cheated on me wif mah best friend. They were french kissing on the stairs and I caught 'em it was terrible.
The camp director then comes and asks us how we're doing, and the guy replies:

"Oh nothing, just telling this girl about how my girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend by french kissing on the stairs."
The camp director just kinda stood there with a look of horror until I finally said:
"Yeah..um. I don't really know this guy" 

The reasoning for this is because I left out one very important detail.
He was eleven.

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