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Wednesday, 21 May 2014

The art of recreating farts

Ah, the art of farting. The art of air escaping two flaps of skin on your glutious maximus. (Apparently, my computer doesn't know the latin term of butt. Or, the word latin. Seriously it actually highlighted latin in that red squiggly. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME)
Anyways, do you have a moment to talk about our rears? I am here to talk to you about the art of recreating farts.
Do you ever have those moments when you're in class, and you're doing a test or some kind of individual work, and then suddenly, you move your foot or book, and
"PRRRRRRFFT"
A huge fart-like- sound fills the ENTIRE classroom. Suddenly, everyone turns and looks at you. This here is the art. The art of blaming inanimate objects for your mistaken-ed flatulence. Now, not everyone can master this art, and when you attempt to, you sometimes make it even worse. This happened to me the other day while we were working in math class. I turned over the page of my work, and the page scratched over my desk making the sound butt cheeks make. I then proceeded to recreate the sound, scratching the infernal page OVER and OVER again..
Alas, I leave you with the end of this story. I went to my next subject, and what happens? I turn to sit down in French class, accidentally rubbing the coil of my book on the desk, making a:
"PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFT"  sound.  I then started to rub the coil on the desk over and over and over again, and I was successful recreating the sound.
The only problem? People thought I was farting over and over.
So my friends, if you plan to take part in the art of recreating farts, please do so at your own risk!!

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