Being a nerd is hard work

You probably think being a nerd is the easiest thing in the world. I am here, to inform you that, no wearing fake glasses and putting tape between them does not make you a nerd. In fact, it's pretty hard. Here is a list to show you "First Nerd problems"
(Heh, get it? First Nerd problems, as in First world problems? Yeah, no.)

Duh! Only, I shouldn't talk. In my case, I have six affairs a week. I just can't help it, there's so many fictional characters to fall in love with. Yeah, I need a counsellor.
" Admitting you have a problem is the first step to the solution, it gets easier after that" She'll tell me. (Or he, but usually counsellors are women, I'll say) Then I'll sob into a napkin and mutter something like:
"I just can't stop it, I need your help. I need you..to take all my books from me." Dramatically pausing.

Okay, I feel like John Green is hiding behind that wall snickering to his ingenious self.
"Haha! I will make everyone love Augustus Waters and then I shall--"
[SPOILER ALERT]
"--Kill him!"
Okay? Okay.

For the writer nerds, or just nerds in general, the stunning realization that you are mentally psychotic for the rest of your life.

HOW? WHY HOW WHAT WHY THIS IS JUST NOT WORKING.  HOW DO YOU READ? I NEED HELP ON HOW TO READ WITHOUT MY SPINE TRYING TO MURDER MY BRAIN AS I SLEEP.


Heh. Pretty self-explanatory, frankly.
Anyways, if you want to apply for a job in being a nerd, please contact a book, a video game or advanced science, history or physics. Thank you for your time. (Oh, and don't call us, we'll call you)
Just kidding, bye now. DFTBA and LLAP